Family Devotions for Dummies

By Neal Black

Guilt: that’s what I felt when anyone talked about having family devotions... and I was a pastor!

We tried different ideas and yet nothing seemed to stick for long. So I became very good at evasive action whenever someone brought up the topic. I quickly mentioned a few ideas so that it sounded like we as a family were regularly undertaking this activity and I as the father was amazing in my creativity. Then there were those painful times when, before I could throw in my brilliant ideas, someone beat me to the punch and asked, “What do you do for family devotions?” I would mutter something about being between ideas or list a few that we are thinking about trying sometime in the future. Maybe this describes where you find yourself. There is help.

Read Deuteronomy 6:6-7 because that is where I see the answer.

“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.”

Read that again and tell me what the formula is for family devotions. Right! There isn’t one. That was a tremendously freeing discovery for me as the spiritual leader. I didn’t have to follow someone else’s plan which, when we used them, often left me and my family hoping and praying that someone would come to the door to see if we wanted our carpets cleaned. Anything to release us from this dry experience.

Okay, some of you are thinking, now what? I don’t have to follow a formula but how do we teach our kids? I am a strong believer that parents are and need to be the greatest influence in their child’s life. So, you need to discover what works with your unique family.

For us we finally hit on a winner. We read books after dinner with exciting plot lines and colourful characters. In fact it worked so well that our kids didn’t want to leave the table. It also brought up great discussions and, as a bonus, our kids have become voracious readers. (Voracious means they really, really like it. I had to look the word up myself.)

Then there were the long trips in the van. That is when we used radio dramas. We loved listening to these adventures and learning exciting, life-shaping principles and values. They were always age appropriate. For a mature father like me, that meant that anything aimed at children was perfect for my brain to process.

And don't forget the most effective tool of parenting that we all posses, which never fails to get results. In fact, it is so effective that it is scary. I mean it - it scares me all the time. Let me illustrate this amazing tool.

When my daughter was very young I witnessed a horrific display of poor etiquette and was called upon to confront her in the act. My little girl walked to the refrigerator, took out the milk and slugged back a big gulp straight from the carton! Realizing she had just visited a friends place, I demanded she tell me where she learned this atrocious behaviour. My sweet, innocent child smiled up at me and confidently answered, “From you Daddy”.

Drat, I thought I was so sneaky when I did it! You have already guessed correctly that this potent teaching tool is our example. Doesn’t it sound frightening when your words come out of your child’s mouth? Yes, they are very adept at copying us as they witness the good and the bad that we model daily.

A quick visit to your local Christian bookstore can supply you with many excellent resources for reading and listening, but as for the example part, only you can determine what your children learn as they watch you interact with life. Bottom line, we are unique families that have very different likes and dislikes. That means that we have the freedom to discover some fun and enjoyable ways to teach our children the life changing values that God wants to use to mold us into His image.

Guilt replaced by fun? That’s it. We have thoroughly enjoyed our style of family devotions. We have created many memories and enjoyed countless hours growing in our understanding of life the way God designed it. We all need to be intentional about teaching our children, but don’t put yourself in a box and follow someone else’s formula. Be creative. Have fun, and never, ever let your daughter see you drink from the milk carton.

Neal is the husband of June, who always makes him look good, and the father of two of the most amazing girls, Stephanie and Mindy, who their mother says have him wrapped around their little finger! In his other life, he is the Director of Ministry Development at FamilyLife Canada.